the weekend nearest, not the day itself

Birthday party date poll

The birthday is fixed. The party is not, and that is the whole opportunity.

For a birthday party, poll the two or three weekends around the actual date rather than assuming the nearest one. Attendance often differs sharply between adjacent weekends, and asking takes a day. Who can when? does it with one free link that needs no account, which matters when the guest list spans several friend groups who do not share a chat.

Free, and nobody needs an account.

Do not default to the nearest weekend

It is the obvious choice and it is often the worst one. The weekend nearest a birthday is as likely as any other to collide with a wedding, a long weekend or half term, and you will not know until you ask.

Offer three: the one before, the one after, and the one after that. The gap between the best and worst is routinely half the guest list.

Getting a mixed guest list to answer

  • One link, sent everywhere. Work friends, school friends and family are not in the same chat.
  • Ask four to six weeks out for anything with a venue, more in December.
  • Say roughly what it is - dinner, drinks, all afternoon with kids - because that changes people's answers.
  • Do not require an email address if the list is mostly social.
  • Keep comments on for the plus-ones and the dietary notes.

For a surprise party

Give the poll a title that gives nothing away, invite everyone except the obvious person, and be aware that names are visible on the grid to anyone with the link. It is a public link, not a secret, so treat it as something that could be forwarded.

Common questions

Can I hide who is coming?
You can hide the results until each person has answered, which stops people deciding based on who else is in. Names are visible after that.
How many people can I invite?
Up to 50 per date poll.
Can guests add a date I did not think of?
Yes, if you switch on participant-added dates.

Ready when you are

Free, and nobody needs an account.

Friends, family and the weekend

The occasions where everyone is willing and nobody is free on the same evening.

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